31 Cravings of Nothing
Dede: Disclaimer: Ash found this place, how she peeped it on the side of the road, she's the only one with the answer.
31 Cravings is located at the Fiesta Royale intersection, on the right as you drive out of Dzorwulu. You can't miss it.
Ash: We ordered the jollof with grilled chicken. We tried to get the fried plantain, but obvs plantain is now a scarce commodity, so they wasn’t having some. So we went with the potato salad, but that was jokes, complete jokes. But let’s take this step by step.
Ash: We arrived and were torn between sitting inside or outside, we settled for outside because their inside seating was stuffy and hot. Absolute no no. We ventured outside to fend for ourselves, it was a struggle between us and the mosquitoes.
Dede: Honestly, we should have known the place was up and coming. For Ghanaians, up and coming means the restaurants will blame every single negative thing on the fact that they are new. The mosquitos outside were having a field day and that was a major turn off. You will think with a convenience store next to them, they will go and buy some mosquito coils since we were visibly swinging the menus at those demon mosquitos. The answer to that assumption was no.
Ash: The service as usual was nonexistent, we had to ask to be served, which to me immediately scores you a 0 on your customer service. Again, as usual they had next to nothing on their menu and their menu was not an extensive one. So we went simple, jollof and grilled chicken. I was hopeful.
Dede: I've come to the conclusion that some Ghanaian restaurants add things to their menu to give it depth but in reality it's never going to be available. I feel like customers should be told what isn't available before they order so I don't psych my taste buds and get disappointed. They had about 4 things available off the whole menu. Customer service was weak, they didn't seem interested to have us there. We shouldn't have been interested in paying the bill either.
Ash: While the jollof wasn’t amazing, the chicken was quite tasty. Their shito was definitely the banging addition. The jollof was lit when you ate it with that pepper, but I came for the jollof not the pepper, so I wasn’t too pleased. The chicken was definitely forgettable. Mind you our potato salad still hadn’t come out. So again, we had to ask for our potato salad.
Dede: The chicken was the highlight of the night. It was seasoned well and tasted charcoal grilled and not oven grilled so that was a plus. The Jollof tasted like the point where party Jollof and house Jollof meet. Btw, I have found the best party Jollof in Ghana, slide into our dm if you want the key. Fellow Nigerians, ya’ll better be sliding into the DMs first cause you guys need this key before anyone else.
Ash: Dear Nigerians, what Dede said.
At this point, the madam came out and apologized for the delay in our potato salad, she boasted about how everything was made fresh so it took a little longer to prepare. i.e. they were only just boiling the potatoes. But potato salad supposed to be cold though. By this time, I was sure that it was about to be a blast. I almost asked to cancel, but we stay trying things for your sake.
Dede: I told Ashley not to cancel the order because I wasn't ready for the speech they'll give us about how it is almost ready but I should have just prepared myself for that speech because that potato salad was a disaster.
Ash: The potato salad finally came as we finished our meal and as I expected, hot potato salad. Pardon? Hot potato salad. But my sister, how? The potatoes were still hard, cut into tiny rectangular boxes, surrounded by veggies and hot boiled egg pieces. This meant that the salad cream around it was liquid. The potato salad was jokes. I took two bites and couldn’t stomach it so I was ready to go.
Dede: Yes! The potato salad was hot, where they do they at? I don't know if they were trying to get us sick or what. We understand that you make things fresh but miss me with a hot potato salad. You guys don't understand, it came out basically steaming. This place feels like a woman who decides she can cook and opens a restaurant. It's not the same, just because you can cook doesn't mean you can own a restaurant. Just because I can run, don't make me usain bolt. Maintain your champion. For reference, kindly watch this.
Ash: I don’t see why I should return, so I won’t be returning. Please stop selling hot potato salad. Where they really do that at?
Dede: Ashley is banned from picking restaurants for a week because this potato salad has scarred me.